I’ve been careful not to say much about our opposition, mainly because I don’t want to devolve into character assassination. D and I have had many, many private conversations over personality analysis. Sometimes it’s helpful (a reality check that we see the same thing) and sometimes we just need to let God be the arbiter. I came to a realization several weeks ago that allowed me to stop trying to make sense of it all and trust that God is in control. Instead, I pray very specifically for supernatural healing and intervention. It’s supernatural because it’s a God thing. “Every prayer is a powerful weapon. Strongholds come tumbling down and down and down!” On the exterior, this person defies human induced change.

I keep bumping up against this expectation that Christians should look Christ-like in their behavior. I know I don’t always look Christ-like, but in general I hope that my actions and reactions resemble Christ’s model. I’m striving to know more about how to let go of pride and self-righteousness . I reflect on my shortcomings. I have an understanding of God’s grace for me that allows me to extend it to others. It’s a process for sure. It’s incredibly disappointing, and at times heartbreaking, to see how pride, self-righteousness and fear (are they all the same thing?) riddle the soul of someone who has so much impact on my life and the lives of people that I love. I’m aware that even pointing this out puts me in danger of self-righteousness, though. Tricky business.

On one level, I have difficulty coming to grips with the selfish, malicious, manipulative behavior. The lies, hyperbole and defiance in verbal and written assault are hard to take. The rigid posture with no empathy or understanding is incredibly frustrating. What governs a person like that? Surely not a spirit of grace.

At another level, I have the perspective that there is cause and effect at play in this person’s life. I feel very strongly that she has wounds that have never healed. She also exhibits bitterness clearly resulting from unforgiveness. I have compassion for this, because I know that she’s imprisoned by these things. I know this because there was a time when I was also entangled by them. I want so much to bring her a testimony of freedom — the freedom available to us in Christ’s love and resurrection. Sadly, I’m not the person that can deliver that message.

So, I pray and I trust that a holy God is working in ways that I can’t see — down under the veneer in the heart. How awesome it is that the merciful creator of the universe touches us there!

We’ve been very busy this past week getting our house ready for sale. The septic test passed (after a bit of a set back), an interior designer gave us some tips, puppy was moved out and we cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. The house looks great! I think it’s pretty common to have some remorse, when you see how nice your house looks. We have to keep the goal in mind — if it looks great to us, then let’s hope that it will look good to buyers too. 

Since a firm job offer has yet to come and we don’t have a move date, this is a step of faith for us. After consultation with the realtor and continued prayer, we feel that we should move forward. We can hope for perfect timing, but we have some options if have a buyer makes an offer before we have firm dates. Let’s hope for the best and rely on God’s providence!

We had the honor of hearing an amazing testimony of perseverance and redemption this past Sunday. It was a message that we needed to hear right now. How amazing is our God! We were feeling disappointment and despair over opposition. The speaker spoke about a season of great opposition and his feelings of failure and despair as a result. Peace came when he was able to turn all of his pain over to the Lord; relinquishing his attempts to mitigate it on his own. That’s a very short summary of an incredibly moving and encouraging story of God’s redemption. D and I were in tears.

When I face adversity, I immediately go into analysis mode and try to make sense of why it’s happening. I’m baffled by the opposition we’ve faced; it just doesn’t make any sense to me. And when I can’t make sense of it, I get angry or flounder in despair. I’ve asked God, “why is it so illogical and unfair?” I begin to doubt that God has heard any of our prayers or that he acknowledges the longing of our hearts. I start to think maybe we need to give up and change course. But the more I think about it and talk it out with D; that doesn’t seem like the answer. How then do we respond to this opposition? The answer, for me, came in another meaningful message we heard in this song with lyrics straight from Psalm 13 (written by a friend and sung during the offering on Sunday).

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

I’ve sensed all along that God’s will is not the easy way in this journey and that we need to trust him more and more. It’s a path of increased faith for us. I know from past experience that when I’m at a place where I have to fully rely on God, it molds me more into his likeness — however incrementally that change happens. I surrender more because I see so clearly my need for him.

A couple other things that stood out in the message we heard yesterday was humility and the purposeful pursuit of truth. In the face of opposition, a fact finding mission was undertaken to verify their position, acknowledge mistakes and discover things that needed improvement or change. I’ve regularly asked God to reveal truth to us, to humble us and illuminate our blind spots. I have to believe, that even where we are unknowingly resistant, God is answering this request. All along the way, I’ve been prepared to let go of the dream or adjust the ways to attain it.

I’m amazed at how God uses his people to encourage one another and how his word comes alive. I praise the Lord when I hear harmonious messages from different directions that speak directly to my circumstances.